I recently turned 21 this past month. I must say it wasn't all I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to be healthy and alive. But, I don't know why I expected this big "shabang" in my head. Maybe because I planned a big "shabang" that included a wonderful career, a black matte range rover and endless amounts of Baked By Melissa cupcakes. I know you are probably thinking I'm crazy, but this is what I imagined.
When I woke up on the day of my 21st birthday, I felt just like I did the day before. You know when you turn 16, you actually feel 16? Or when you turn 10, you really feel 10? Well, turning 21 was just another Monday. You might ask, but why? The real why is because I don't give myself enough credit. Like most young adults I got so caught up in our future, I forget all I accomplished along the way.
I woke up feeling like I didn't accomplish anything in my 21 years of living (which is a sad lie). I called my mother and started crying because I felt that turning 21 wasn't a milestone. But as she explained to me how delusional I was as she listed my accomplishments, I began to feel like maybe turning 21 was really a big "shabang" after all. No, I'm not where I would like to be, but I'm not where I was last year. This is something that we all have to stop and realize in our times of doubt, which usually sneak up on us during our birthdays.
From the ages 18-25 there is a lot of peer-pressure, self-doubt and most of all confusion. Luckily when I get into these feelings, I call my mother who with her wisdom can bring me back to reality. But not everyone has someone that can guide them through the roughest stage of their life.
Whether it's graduating from high school, being the first to graduate from college in our family or snagging that dream internship, we all are accomplishing things everyday. Yes, we all would like to be on the Forbes list at 21 or front row at the Grammys, but success is not an overnight miracle. Success takes work.
Here are 10 steps that you can take to not only make it through your Quarter Life Crisis, but also be successful.
1. Set goals.
As redundant as this may sound, you have to set goals for yourself. Whether this means your goal is to start waking up at 8am and drinking a cup of tea, set it. Once you accomplish a goal, you gain the confidence to accomplish the next one and the one after that. Before you know it your goals will be like clockwork.
2. Eat breakfast.
The most important meal of the day is breakfast. If you have to miss a meal, don't let it be the first one of the day. Breakfast is were you get all your energy for the day ahead to accomplish your goals. Don't miss breakfast.
3. Don't speak negatively about yourself.
This was one of the biggest lessons I had to overcome. We often always feel that we aren't good enough whether it's for someone or something and this leads to self-doubt. Then self-doubt leads to negative remarks that we make about our appearance and character. I dare you to say something nice about yourself every morning and night for a week and see how much better you feel about you. Remember it isn't how the world sees you, it is how you see you.
4. Treat your body like a newborn baby.
No don't wear a pamper, but treat your self with nurture and care. Be gentle with your body. Take a few extra minutes in the morning to get the desired hair style you want or cooking yourself breakfast instead of eating a bagel. This is your body, care for it.
As mentioned in a previous post, workout. You only get one body so why not make it as fabulous as possible? Seriously.
6. Let go of negative people.
I can't tell you how good you will feel letting go of dead weight and negative energy. You will feel lighter. Who wants to associate with someone who constantly talks negatively about everything anyway?
7. Don't procrastinate.
I'm still working on this one but procrastination is the devil. Don't do it. Plus, don't you feel good when you get something done and out the way in a timely fashion? I know I do. If you want success in life you have to get things done. The world waits for no one.
8. Put your phone down for at least an hour each day.
You don't have to turn your phone completely off, but set it on silent for an hour. Read a book, jot down your goals and prepare your mind for tomorrow. Studies do show that being on your phone an hour before bed makes it harder for someone to fall asleep. Instagram isn't going anywhere.
9. Read more.
Success is also all about research. Research how your idols did it and mold your goals in their steps. I personally love to read and it gives me a chance to learn a lot of things I wouldn't have learned if I was just scrolling down twitter.
10. Lastly, never give up.
This is the most important step. Never give up. Just because someone failed at something doesn't mean that you will too. Always stay positive and keep pushing forward in whatever you decide to do.